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I learn that if I were a girl and wear glasses, no guy is ever going to notice me at a party, even though I look so much better than most ordinary girls with my glasses on.
I hence need contact lenses. Yes, that's right. Guys will only notice me with contact lenses on.

And did anyone see the latest Coke ad?
It has "no added preservatives or artificial flavors" and made from the "best spices from around the world."
I know that is not technically incorrect. But what? Is coke like the new health drink or new fruit juice now?

Sigh. Things one learn from commercials.